Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! Books are useless! I only ever read one book, «To Kill A Mockingbird,» and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?
That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you’d step over your own mother just to get one! But you can’t stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity.
There’s one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! It’s a T. It goes «tuh». Anyone who laughs is a communist! Morbo will now introduce tonight’s candidates… Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon.
Books are useless! I only ever read one book, «To Kill A Mockingbird,» and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. You don’t win friends with salad. The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity.
Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. Saving the world with meals on wheels.
Super squeaky bum time! You hit me with a cricket bat. You’ve swallowed a planet! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm — and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?
All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.